It's funny how out ideas of things or ideals are so often not the reality we experience. Perhaps its from watching too much Disney or Hollywood movies, or even being too much of an optimist by nature. Whatever the case may be, I have found myself here; the place where the "rubber meets the road". My excitement and anticipation of this move to Albany has all but since been worn away to reveal the stark, challenge of reality.
We often assume many things about ourselves- what we think we are, how we see ourselves, but its often in the light of the best possible circumstances. For instance, when we see ourselves as confident, outgoing individuals, usually it is in places we are familiar, or with people we know. When you shake all of that up- you can see an entirely different side of yourself than what you imagined.
Maybe all of this is mumbo-jumbo to you, and I apologize if it is, but I share it because it is something that is deeply on my heart at this moment. While God has been SO faithful to provide me with SO much- this job with guaranteed hours, a reliable car, safety in traveling, a place to stay and food to eat, I have struggled to keep my chin up. I never realized how much of a people person I was, how much I needed others around me until now- as I'm living alone in a strange city, without friends or anyone to experience it with me. It's honestly all I can do right now to fight discouragement and loneliness. I am so thankful for my family and friends and those who continue to pray for me and encourage me to continue to offer myself up to the Lord, to see this season as one which the Lord has prepared and has a PURPOSE in. I know the Lord has great things to teach me in this season, and, praise His name, He even spoke to me of the loneliness of this season over a year ago to begin preparing my heart. I guess now I only have the choice to follow and obey or sit and despair. Thank you so much for the many of you who are praying for me and encouraging me. I am nothing, apart from Christ, and see more of that as I come face-to-face with myself in the midst of these challenges.
On a note of progress, I finished 2 days of orientation to the Medical-Surgical floor of the community hospital in Troy, and had a great time learning from all the friendly staff members there. The floor is much like one big family, and it was really neat to see their teamwork and know that I get to step into an already well-oiled team! :) I was quite overwhelmed with the amount of things to orient to in only 2 days, so thankfully I get to have one more day of orientation before I'm on my own next week. Ahhh!!! I'm so nervous, but I know God will see me through. They use a type of nursing called "team nursing" where, instead of having 3 or 4 patients you are solely responsible for, you have a group of 8 patients to a group of an RN, LPN, and CNA. An effective system, but one which I'm hurridly grasping at to learn.
I just wanted to put up a couple of pictures of my family before I left home just because I realized that I didn't put a post up about my new niece, Abigail Susanne, who was born October 24th. So.. here's a couple of pics to brighten up this post. :)
Abigail Susanne Helweg, born October 24, 2010 weighing 6lb 3oz, 18 1/2 in.
Her first smile captured on film by yours truly! Auntie Anna gets double points for capturing both Bekah AND Abigail's first smiles on film! :)
Isaac and I... the cool ones, OBVIOUSLY. ;)
My all-time favorite- me and my "mini-me", my 2nd niece, Rebekah. It's CRAZY how much she resembles me not only now, but also looking back at my baby pictures. Crazy, crazy! I personally love it, ha ha! But I'm sure the one ginger (red-head) looks a bit odd in the brunette family. ;)
Finally, a picture of my small group Bible study at our Thanksgiving meal! I LOVE and miss each and every person from there SO much! ... there are just no words. :)
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