Ok... so not really. :) I've had a lot of friends ask if I've fully integrated into "city life" here in Minneapolis, and my answer is usually two-part.
Yes. In many ways I've thoroughly enjoyed all the people, the diversity of culture and fact that I can walk down the street or in the grocery store and hear languages other than English being spoken. I have also seen some of the most breath-taking city views of my life driving across the many bridges within Minneapolis and St. Paul at night. (I still think they should allow full-stops along the I35W bridge for tripod set up and photos at night):) I've pretty well adjusted to the traffic and big-city safety mentality of always locking your car, being aware of your surroundings at all times, etc, but that's kind of been my normal with the traveling I've been doing the past couple of years.
On a separate note, I desperately miss the fresh air, and places where you can just go and swim or fish or be by yourself in nature. I miss the small farmer's markets, favorite little Bemidji shops and restaurants, and the ridiculous way you run into everyone you know while shopping at Walmart. :) Most of all, I think I miss the community of a smaller town/area. Maybe I just miss my Bemidji community, but loneliness has honestly been one of my biggest struggles while I've been here. Don't get me wrong, I've been making new friends and connecting with friends I already had down here, but it just seems that the loneliness is more pervasive with living alone and not having friends to just do life together with. It's definitely left me, again, more and more reliant upon God's faithfulness to my heart, giving me peace and comfort in His presence as I've sat here wondering, "What am I suppose to do next?".
It's left me thinking a lot about what it means to live a faithful life to God. Trying to make sense of the unknown seems to be sewn throughout all ages and walks of life, and so what is the difference between someone just living, and someone living in an eternally-impacting way? Really, I suppose all it means is living obediently to God in what He is calling us to do. I feel like many, however, would further expound on that and say to "follow your heart" because what we feel, God put there and so we should just go with that.
I understand that thought process and agree to it to a certain sense, and yet where do our desires fit into all of that? If I WANT something, does that mean that I should assume it's from God and pursue it (assuming it's not illegal or against Biblical standards)? But then I think about Biblical examples... I don't remember Jesus asking the disciples what they wanted to do, or asking them what was on their bucket list, and yet that is how I think many of us live (including myself!).
I guess in this season, I'm just trying to process through my life; how my desires and goals fit into seeking God, desiring His heart, and obeying Him.
On a more practical note, my agency nursing work has been very challenging not only with trying to get enough work hours, but also with the constant moving from hospital to hospital, and unit to unit with little consistency. Thankfully, I got a 3-week agreement to work on Gillette's NeuroScience unit 3 days/week and am in my final week there and have LOVED it! It has been INCREDIBLE to get back into pediatrics and I have learned SO much just being there! :) On a similar note, I'm hoping to start for some shift coverage at Shriner's Children's Hospital this next week! Yaaayy!!! God has been SO good! I'm SO blessed and excited to be going there!
But, I'll keep you all updated with some more pictures soon! :) Just wanted to write a little life-update for now. :)
Love to you friend and praying for you through this season x
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